Refusing to Feel Your Feelings vs Running From Them

Feelings are such a complex thing.

It can be an odd thing when you aren't feeling something. And then suddenly you realize you should be, or are only now beginning to feel it.

This happened to me recently. Where I realized I hadn't been feeling something, but now I was. But it wasn't the feeling itself that threw me off. It was a question that came to mind.

Were you not feeling this feeling all these years? Or were you feeling it, but you kept running away them?

Now that's a tough question to have to face...

The answer of course was that I was feeling it all along. I was just running from the feelings because...

Well, why do any of us run from feelings?

  • We're scared to admit to those feelings
  • We're scared what that means if we feel that way
  • We're scared how things will change if you admit it
  • We're anxious and uncertain about what the feelings even mean
  • We've said we don't feel that way for so long, going back on that feels wrong now
  • The feelings hurt too much, so it's better to run from them
  • The feelings dig up soo much that it's too unbearable to deal with
  • If we feel this way, that means this other feeling we've been making decisions on isn't really...
  • The list goes on and on and on

And in truth I won't even try to have an answer here. Just a realization. A realization that uncovered a deep rabbit hole I have to go down. Because now that I know how I really feel, I have to chase that rabbit to the end.

I mean, that's better than staying where I have been after all. No matter what it's better than staying.