Idols Keep Us From God's Blessings And True Happiness
What is an idol you might ask?
An idol is anything you FEEL you want more than God.
Also
An idol is anything you CHASE after, instead of chasing God's calling.
I am absolutely guilty of both of those.
I chased an idea for over a decade. At the expense of pursuing what God has called me to do, what God created me to do.
I lied to myself, explained it to myself, excused myself, manipulated myself, and convinced myself. So that I could stomach NOT doing what God was leading me to do. Yes, I said it. All those mental gymnastics every single day for over a decade were all to do one thing. Justify me chasing what I felt I wanted. Justify me sitting on my rear with arms crossed, telling God "I want this. I want it now. If I have to give up your calling and purpose, then so be it. I want what I want."
It's like gripping a moldy chicken wing and saying "mine!" to God, while he's waving a steak dinner + overflowing happiness and contentment for the rest of your life in front of you.
Sounds stupid doesn't it? That's because it is.
Idols are stupid. They keep us from God's blessings. We hold on to our idols thinking, and more importantly feeling, like they are our world, they will make us happy, all we need is that idol and as long as we have it we will be happy!
But in reality idols are poison, deadly poison. Idols literally kill your future life. Idols murder real happiness and replace it with hollow love and happiness feelings.
All that is important to know for sure. But...
How do you break free?
The hardest part is overcoming denial. I know because I was in denial for over a decade. Everyone around me that genuinely truly loved and cared about me and my future tried to tell me. But I would not listen. I refused to trust the people who loved me. They shown me the truth countless times. I would not believe it. I convinced myself that my most trusted people, could not be trusted. "They just didn't understand. But I know the truth! I had to keep going! They would see that I was right and they were wrong in the end." Or sometimes it would manifest in... "This is what I want. I don't care what they say, what they see. I want what this and the people who love me won't stop me."
And then there is my greatest shame... the thoughts:
"I am already this far, I couldn't have been wrong... I have to keep going. I am already this far. I can't even think about changing course. That would make all the work I have already done, meaningless. I can't have made a mistake by doing this, I have gone too far down this road! That would mean all the hurt and worry I saw in my loved ones faces... would be for nothing... NO! I have to keep going. I have to make it work out no matter what! I can't have their hurting for me be for nothing! They'll see! I need this!"
Yes. That was me. For over a decade. It's horrible isn't it? Yet that is what was going on in my head all the while. I am a prideful person. There are some areas of my life that I am happy to admit I made a mistake. However I do NOT like to admit I made a mistake in this specific area of my life. I am so prideful that I will hurt the people I love and waste my life, just to not face the fact that I made a mistake.
So back to the question:
How do you break free?
I've thought about this a lot. What would have broken me free? What would have broken the chain around my life that kept me from genuine love and happiness? I believe it would be this:
Why don't I trust the people who love me?
It might seem odd. But the reality was my brain was fubar. I was in denial. And when you are in denial logic, reason, emotions, facts, truths, etc don't matter. They cannot penetrate the wall of denial. Only love can pierce through that wall.
So if you're ever confused. If you're ever in a situation where everyone that genuinely loves you says you're making mistakes. Stop making excuses, stop deflecting, stop talking about problems and solutions and details. Just ask yourself the simple question:
Why don't I trust the people who love me?